Clean edition by blog womanager, Cynthia StayC-c`iru
Please note that this article is proudly sponsored by Trust Studded® (Banana flavoured)
Snippets:
- The ladies who felt it easy to explain to us, claimed some men can’t withstand the heat in the kitchen for more than 91 seconds.
- Maxima says “...My Dickens is an awesome guy. He makes me scream the whole two-halves of an hour. Then all of a sudden my cunt convulses as an involuntary orgasm turns my entire body into one gigantic zone! Then he cums in me, Ouch!”
- The Abuja Pasto who wanted to multiply every 5 men with two legs to feed 5000 fishy women
- It’s pretty obvious that a normal man is supposed to run the show for a satisfactory length of at least 9.6 minutes when we are talking about deep impaling; foreplay excluded. Yet veterans can brag of more than 28 minutes non-stop of thunderous
- Men come too fast for a variety of reasons...
- Women, on the other hand, come too slowly because...
- “When I go longer than 5 minutes I risk the likelihood of a CD bursting at any point after. And you know how difficult it is to stop at...”-- Cosmo
- “Sometimes my galfriend takes the lead, and become a young brunette riding a pole and swearing like a drunken sailor. OMG! She does it like a real woman cooking breakfast...”—Bob
- The male who come too fast, stand a more chance of impregnating their partners...
(Magatzine)The 2009 Kenyan Census was out and about last week, and not unexpectedly, as it is endemic with Kenyans of majoring on minor things; tribal purism took the order of the day. The census results were pungent of acrid mis-planning, and at the same time pandering to good-for-nothing tribal bias. But trying to capture the current zeitgeist let me take a close eye on what ought to be trumpeted by Oparanya, and a closed eye on his unskilful skew of statistics.
The said natality explosion annually leave something to be desired especially at the diametrical fresh rates of divorce/separation and escalating percentages of singlehood conjoined with asymmetrical figures of men to women (1:4). Our churches (the best businesses in Nairobi at the moment) have been in the forefront of the Single Awareness Campaigns exorcizing spirits that may be locking out our women from getting husbands, or probably “loaded” men. But thanks to the Abuja Pasto, a one Chris Ogj.., who, in his warped prophesies, dexterously wants to multiply every 5 men to feed 5000 fishy women. The throng, FYI, of young bummy desperate women who attended the surmmon is an article for another day.
Real biz. According to research of which this article forms a record, 69% of children born yearly are illegitimate from either troubled marriages or unfulfilling relationships. Worth noting is that 94% of all these troubled marriages and unfulfilling relationships are caused by nothing but one thing: sexual satisfaction and how long the man can carry on the bedroom show. For starters and for the record, it’s not just how fit or toned you are that matter, but hoe long you can handle the psychological roller coaster of a 4 hours marathon. Let’s take your stamina for a bed-test...
But first things first...I am not a psychologist. I am not a relationship expert. Nor am I a gynaecologist. I am a mere engineer, not yet emotionally-engaged with anyone, but can claim with medium confidence that I have been there and done that.
Survey and Responses
A survey in the UoN’s Halls of residence 11, 10, 9, Box and KMSH showed that many young men are involuntarily languishing in the problem of sustaining their cocks and balls inside the quim for more than 2 minutes. The ladies who felt it easy to explain to us, claimed some men can’t withstand the heat in the kitchen for more than 91 seconds. It’s utter disappointing, frustrating and even totally deflating when seconds is all what your big muscles, your testosterone is worth. Not because of pressure from society but because it’s nature’s demand. Remember a real man is assessed on the score-sheet of the package he owns and this rests on solid lethality of his weapons. If ever a man of actions deserves his success, that man is the owner of tools. He is a careful and fastidious artist in full control of his cock, a serious craftsman who disciplines himself not only how long to last but when exactly to come. As Maxima, a resident in Hall 20(Box), says “...My Dickens is an awesome guy. He makes me scream the whole two-halves of an hour. Then all of a sudden my cunt convulses as an involuntary orgasm turns my entire body into one gigantic zone! Then he cums in me, Ouch!”
This type of man has the decorum, selflessness and psychological commitment to see his woman through. He is a man who believes that it is his duty to give pleasure in order to gain pleasure. Like I said, it is not how fit or toned you are.
Normal Man Run the Show this Loooong
Most women interviewed, dismissed the issue of size of penis and underscored quality ramming of the walls as long time enough. The men on the other side, dismissed the issue of how tight the labia majora and minora are as long as the face is uniquely beautiful.
It’s pretty obvious that a normal below average man is supposed to run the show for a satisfactory length of at least 9.6 minutes when we are talking about deep impaling; foreplay excluded. Yet veterans can brag of more than 28 minutes non-stop of thunderous good strokes in and good strokes out for the first round. Can you handle this? Cosmo, a resident in Hall 11, says “When I go longer than 5 minutes I risk the likelihood of a CD bursting at any point after. And you know how difficult it is to stop at such climaxes... (Giggles)”
We are living in a society whose men are so over-optimistic such that they always see Glass (read Gals) as half-naked and not half-dressed at all times, prompting their minds to fuck in almost every position imaginable by just sight. This condition is further aggravated by the likes of Luthuli/SJ instant-call-gals who at all times stress that speed is of essence.
Men come too fast for a variety of reasons, not least among them the reason that they are in an impatient, selfish search for gratification. Women, on the other hand, come too slowly because their mind are preoccupied by a variety of expectations, not the least being their strong wish to be entertained statutory from one direction, and some gift ready. The fact of a woman helping you entertain her is a statement of the utmost importance. Worse is a certain crop of women who misconceive that passionate, toe-curling sex is one dimensional. One-dimensional in the sense that it is up to the man to bring out pleasure on both parties. This is not only wrong but also a misguided brainwash across the churches (yes churches) that denies full enjoyment of one’s body. “Sometimes my galfriend takes the lead, and become a young brunette riding a pole and swearing like a drunken sailor. OMG! She does it like a real woman cooking breakfast. That makes me go hard on and on...” says Bob, resident in Hall 9.
Have you tasted cunningulus? I ask. No, most probably. Tell me the last time your woman fellated your tools and I’ll tell you a generation abnegating the necessary. Probably, she has never brought her lips closer to your cock. Where else can you get a stimulus and drive from?
National Census Rendition
From an evolutionary point of view, the male who come too fast, stand a more chance of impregnating their partners. The scientific exposition behind this theory asserts that the first cum if not disturbed sticks more to the walls of the uterus agitating the release of Luteinizing Hormone (LH) which is responsible for express ovulation. It is the same impregnated women who stand on the receiving end of unsatisfaction. So when the census release claimed there are more Kikuyus and Luhyas, I couldn’t stop wondering how short, dorks, malfunctioned and wimps are the Kikuyu men, Luhya men and Kalenjin men in that ugly order.
ALPHONCE M. MAGATI
NEXT
Where the Brain and Heart Goes While you Last Part II
