7 NOTORIOUS TYPES OF COLLEGE STUDENTS

[RightInk]A friend of mine challenged me once that the worst college student you’ll ever come across is the one from the college of Veterinary Medicine or 'Chiromo' medicine. On questioning why, he claimed, in his warped mind, that it’s difficult to handle animals for too long and fail two act like one of them (small animal or big animal); or yet it's pretty hard to handle cadavers for too long and fail to be think like one(if at all they do think). To this effect, I decided to take a walk around campus to clarify my friend’s passion of how many types of --good or bad-- students we have and do they have to come from the same said vet pigsty or KNH morgue. Therefore, simulating my big brother Jeff, I say: ‘what a story, what a blog. You cannot find this kind of juicy articles anywhere else. Only right here  where we are all college-righting, all the blog, all the time.'

The following are the typical college losers so called students, read with me…
(1)Money-oriented, (2)Otiose, (3)the p.i.m.p., (4)friend-padder, (5)self-promoter, (6) Desperatta, (7)..
 

1.0 Money-oriented: ( aka the CMB wannabe)

Much as the tribal Kenyan would tell you this is a Kikuyu, on the contrary that is not the case. We all are in hierarchy or continuum of needs and financial security but for the particular money oriented guys everything is put on hold as they prioritize quenching their pockets. In the halls of residence, they’ll convert a room into miniscule ‘supermarket’ selling anything to everything from rotten tomatoes to expired condoms. Money making is the lens through which life is seen and understood creating usual imbalanced judgments.

Sometimes there are apparent noble reasons given for making the money, such as the desire to take care of one’s family or to supplement one’s income. It’s important and very OK. But to focus on money making as a full-time thought with profit as the decision or argument criterion, the initial interest becomes null and void.

These kinds of students, more often than not, usually are the active die-hards in strikes and demonstrations. They have a girlfriend from 'shags' who is usually enthralled by the varsity buildings than her man.

2.0 Book-oriented: (aka the Otiose)

Book oriented students usually become bookworms in every sense of the word, driving themselves to produce at the sacrifice of health, relationship, social life and other important areas of their lives. Their fundamental identity comes from their cramming of the ‘book’—“I know Thermodynamics,” “I beat them in Maths.” are the obvious consolations in their social deficiency.

Because their identity and sense of self-worth are wrapped-up in the book, their security is vulnerable to anything that happens to prevent them from continuing touching their book. These are the kind of people who will stop at nothing but at the brink of suicide if you defeat them even by a single mark. With this kind of remote-mentality, nurtured from their erstwhile high schools, they believe first-class is reading the book inside out and not sharing knowledge nor the book itself in the name that we are in a ‘competitive’ world.

Mostly in this category lie the remote men or the ugly and ugliest young women who see their books as their life. Their actions are limited by academician role models and lecturer perceptions of them.

3.0 Pleasure-oriented:(aka the P.i.m.p.)

We are living in a changing time where instant gratification is available and encouraged. Liquor, clubbing and movies are the key-words for this category. Movies graphically portray what other people have and can do in living the life of ease and “fun.” But while the glitter of pleasure is exalted, the natural result of such life-style to the inner person, productivity, thinking, is seldom accurately seen. Don’t misquote me, innocent pleasure in moderation can provide relaxation for body and mind and can foster learning and other activities.

The unfortunate bit for the pleasure loving student is they become narcissistic, interpreting all of life in terms of pleasure it provides. They make decisions based on what will give them the most pleasure.

Their order of the day is defined by too much music all day long, too many movies, too much video game playing, too much night-out any day of the week. It beats simple logic to offer yourself too much undisciplined leisure time with no good outcome on the other side of life. College education, to them means the future pleasure after this arduous learning biz.

4.0 Church-oriented: (aka the Lurker)

We all agree that religions play a big role in our day –to-day lives. But you and I can agree that church going is not synonymous with personal spirituality. There are these students who get so busy in church worship and “missions” projects that they become insensitive to the pressing human needs that surround them, contradicting the very precepts they profess to believe deeply. The life of this category of students is guided by image or outer appearance which becomes a major consideration leading to hypocrisy that undermines personal intrinsic worth.

The church-maniacs tend to live in compartments, acting and thinking and feeling in certain ways on the Sabbath (church day) and in totally different ways on weekdays.

They see the world in terms of ‘believers’ and ‘non-believers’, ‘belongers’ and ‘non-belongers.’ Forgetting and seeing the church as end rather than as a means to an end undermines a person’s wisdom and sense of balance. Although the church claims to teach people about the source of power (the Almighty), it does not claim to be that power itself.

5.0 Friend-oriented: (aka the friend-padder)

Acceptance and belonging to a clique can become almost supremely important. It may even seem natural and proper. But as a life dimension, it ironically destroys the very element necessary to friendship success. For men they look for a friend with almost equal status, for women they look for a lesser or greater worth/beauty. There is only phantom security in such a relationship when all appears to be going well. I copy your assignment as you use my desktop. I eat your food as I usually help you understand the lecturer’s notes. Deal…

6.0 Possession-oriented: (aka the self-promoter)

These ones believe in fashionable clothes, jewelry, electronics, and without them their real character is betrayed. Additionally, they are hungry of intangible possessions like fame, glory or social prominence. They make decisions based on what will protect, increase or better display his/her possession to the college at large.

Their sense of security lies in the reputation they command. Mostly snob cliques are formed on this basis and if you have a net worth lesser you never can be a friend. These are the people who ensure the infamous student leadership like SONU is for them by campaigning by all fair and foul means to gain and retain positions there.

7.0 Desperatta-oriented:

These are the ugly people with the common false PDA (public display of affection). If they won’t be seen holding somebody’s hand or waist, they are just trying to impress a mismatch cougar somewhere. Life in college, as they perceive it, is having a sex partner or multiple sex partners for the show. But the question is, show who? Are we equating lives in campus?

Read Funniest Interview of the Year next right here on CRS blog…

Yours truly Alphonce M. Magati