NAIROBI RIVER WOES, THE PICTURE OF KENYANS IN THE WASTE-LADEN WATERS

WHO WILL SAVE NAIROBI RIVER? There is no way to a healthy nation, environment is the way.

Alphonce Magati, Sustainable Urban Environment (SUE) Campaigner and Expert

Snippets

• It is an interesting matter of conjecture when we are caught up in a web of politicking dubbed as reforms, revolution and new dispensation, yet we are ignoring the critical and vital issues in life; deteriorating environment

• A tribute to Kenyatta hospital (or any other hospital for that matter) will ascertain that many patients suffer from water-borne or water pollution related diseases.

• The much hyped Nairobi River Basin Programme, after pooling more than 10 government institutions, have misunderstood the problem and the solution all together

• Apart from the almost tourist-friendly site between the Museum Roundabout and the Globe Cinema Roundabout, the rest of Nairobi River is hysteria.

• The Kazi Kwa Vijana (KKV) on Nairobi River on various sections of the river can be likened to an infantry sent to battlefield without any armoury, for defence or attack

• There is no way to a healthy nation, the environment is the way

SIRI Magatzine. The prevailing effervescent and now reloaded political atmosphere, which is disturbingly endemic to Kenya for a longer time now, condemns some of the critical and vital issues in life to drown in the political cacophony like any other pollutant. It is an interesting matter of conjecture when we are caught up in a web of politicking dubbed as reforms, revolution and new dispensation. At the rate we are taking political appetizers, it is more apocalyptic especially when we are losing the right course. The Hague will come and go, the Ocampo Six will go and come back, but Mother Nature is here to stay with us.

In times of narrow-minded intolerance, in times of political instability and in times of anarchy, it is easier to point fingers and in the process justice accessed; yet when the environment means to avenge on humanity for mistreating her, there will be no scapegoat nor sacred-cow. But where are these sentiments coming from? Take a look. Now more than ever it is an obvious knowledge that 75 % of the ailments that trail Kenyans and African at large, are purely because of poorly managed environment. A tribute to Kenyatta hospital (or any other hospital for that matter) will ascertain that many patients suffer from water-borne or water pollution related diseases. But the question that begs for an immediate answer is, why is that continuing unabated?

It is amazing that in a country with a natality explosion of over a million people annually cannot predicts its future waste generation in black and white. A close eye on the Nairobi River itself could speak volumes of how we are on a non-moving lane, environmentally speaking. Despite the much hyped Nairobi River Basin Programme, the pace and vaguely defined institutional responsibilities clearly state how we have misunderstood the problem and the solution all together. First, pooling more than ten institutions into one objective with a cheque of more than 3.5 million dollars yet deliver such undoing, is a self-inflicted insult and gets gravely close to corruption and impunity.

Nairobi River Rehabilitation Program (NRRP)

For starters, Nairobi River Rehabilitation Programme is a multi-stakeholder undertaking tracing back into 1999 that merge the Government Ministries, United Nation Environmental Programme (UNEP), UN-Habitat, the private sector and the civil society to restore and manage the river’s ecosystem. But apart from the tourist-friendly site between the Museum Roundabout and the Globe Cinema Roundabout, the rest of Nairobi River is hysteria. Nairobi River and its tributaries traverse through the whole of Nairobi; from Mathare River, Motoine and Ngong’ Rivers join and flow to Athi River and eventually the Indian Ocean.

Starting at the bridge of James Gichuru Road, the river is fairly clear with a faint trace of smell. At the next stretch to the Museum Road and to the Globe Cinema roundabout, the river is still clear. From this section the total overkill of the river livelihood begin. The automotive garages, car washes, illegal sewage discharge, solid waste dumping take over the river. At the Kariokor Roundabout, the stench heightens. Down further, it meanders into Bondeni and Gikomba market. Here the worst damage is not enough as it meets more shoddy garages. As the river flows through Eastleigh, Buruburu, Kariobangi, Dandora through Kasarani it is no longer a river but an open sewer line. Mathare River, a tributary, starts to get the same lashing at Mathare phase four. Ngong River, another tributary, gets the worst damage from the industries illegal and untreated discharges laden with all chemicals and heavy metals. All these enter Athi River and threaten lives downstream. A case in point is the Kabaa irrigation scheme which is straining from solid waste and chemicals resulting from Nairobi River.

The short stretch between Museum Bridge and Globe Roundabout has not won the hearts and minds of Kenyans, and donors too, given the funding and time period. Something needs to be done.

Kazi Kwa Vijana (KKV) on the River

The Kazi Kwa Vijana (KKV) on Nairobi River on various points can be likened to an infantry sent to battlefield without any armoury, for defence or attack. They work against hostility from people farming along the river banks especially in Imara Daima estate and Mukuru kwa Njenga. Illegal sewer lines and discharges by known and unknown industries/firms at night when there is no surveillance. The presence of illegal electricity wiring across the river poses more danger than the polluted river itself. A part of Donholm estate uses the river as a dump site. Despite of all these, the KKV people have no protection gear leave alone appropriate river-cleaning tools.

There is no way to a healthy nation, environment is the way. Contrary to popular expectation, just encouraging a 10 % tree cover in Kenya is not good enough for environmental sustainability. And especially when Nairobi, Kenya is the home of the United Nations Environmental Programme (UNEP), as well as many other international and national organisations like National Environmental Management Authority (NEMA). A visitor to Nairobi could be easily mistaken that this city is the cleanest city. Behind the glittering facade, Nairobi is brimming with filth jeopardizing a normal life. A visit to many of our bedroom-suburbs or estates confirms this. There is dirt and dirty water almost everywhere! As for garbage, the eyesore is everywhere including on roads, open spaces and rooftops. Indeed, many urban dwellers wish for sustainable environment. But all the responsibilities will start with us as individuals. Otherwise, environmental negligence and degradation, which is the greatest hazard to existence both on earth and in the heavens above, will cost us dearly.

Name: Alphonce M. Magati

Environmental Engineering,

HOW LONG CAN YOU LAST?(HLCYL?) WHEN SIZE DOESN'T MATTER...Clean Edition

Clean edition by blog womanager, Cynthia StayC-c`iru

Please note that this article is proudly sponsored by Trust Studded® (Banana flavoured)

Snippets:

1. The ladies who felt it easy to explain to us, claimed some men can’t withstand the heat in the kitchen for more than 91 seconds.
2. Maxima says “...My Dickens is an awesome guy. He makes me scream the whole two-halves of an hour. Then all of a sudden my cunt convulses as an involuntary orgasm turns my entire body into one gigantic zone! Then he cums in me, Ouch!”
3. The Abuja Pasto who wanted to multiply every 5 men with two legs to feed 5000 fishy women
4. It’s pretty obvious that a normal man is supposed to run the show for a satisfactory length of at least 9.6 minutes when we are talking about deep impaling; foreplay excluded. Yet veterans can brag of more than 28 minutes non-stop of thunderous
5. Men come too fast for a variety of reasons...
6. Women, on the other hand, come too slowly because...
7. “When I go longer than 5 minutes I risk the likelihood of a CD bursting at any point after. And you know how difficult it is to stop at...”-- Cosmo
8. “Sometimes my galfriend takes the lead, and become a young brunette riding a pole and swearing like a drunken sailor. OMG! She does it like a real woman cooking breakfast...”—Bob
9. The male who come too fast, stand a more chance of impregnating their partners...

(Magatzine)The 2009 Kenyan Census was out and about last week, and not unexpectedly, as it is endemic with Kenyans of majoring on minor things; tribal purism took the order of the day. The census results were pungent of acrid mis-planning, and at the same time pandering to good-for-nothing tribal bias. But trying to capture the current zeitgeist let me take a close eye on what ought to be trumpeted by Oparanya, and a closed eye on his unskilful skew of statistics.

The said natality explosion annually leave something to be desired especially at the diametrical fresh rates of divorce/separation and escalating percentages of singlehood conjoined with asymmetrical figures of men to women (1:4). Our churches (the best businesses in Nairobi at the moment) have been in the forefront of the Single Awareness Campaigns exorcizing spirits that may be locking out our women from getting husbands, or probably “loaded” men. But thanks to the Abuja Pasto, a one Chris Ogj.., who, in his warped prophesies, dexterously wants to multiply every 5 men to feed 5000 fishy women. The throng, FYI, of young bummy desperate women who attended the surmmon is an article for another day.

Real biz. According to research of which this article forms a record, 69% of children born yearly are illegitimate from either troubled marriages or unfulfilling relationships. Worth noting is that 94% of all these troubled marriages and unfulfilling relationships are caused by nothing but one thing: sexual satisfaction and how long the man can carry on the bedroom show. For starters and for the record, it’s not just how fit or toned you are that matter, but hoe long you can handle the psychological roller coaster of a 4 hours marathon. Let’s take your stamina for a bed-test...

But first things first...I am not a psychologist. I am not a relationship expert. Nor am I a gynaecologist. I am a mere engineer, not yet emotionally-engaged with anyone, but can claim with medium confidence that I have been there and done that.

Survey and Responses

A survey in the UoN’s Halls of residence 11, 10, 9, Box and KMSH showed that many young men are involuntarily languishing in the problem of sustaining their cocks and balls inside the quim for more than 2 minutes. The ladies who felt it easy to explain to us, claimed some men can’t withstand the heat in the kitchen for more than 91 seconds. It’s utter disappointing, frustrating and even totally deflating when seconds is all what your big muscles, your testosterone is worth. Not because of pressure from society but because it’s nature’s demand. Remember a real man is assessed on the score-sheet of the package he owns and this rests on solid lethality of his weapons. If ever a man of actions deserves his success, that man is the owner of tools. He is a careful and fastidious artist in full control of his cock, a serious craftsman who disciplines himself not only how long to last but when exactly to come. As Maxima, a resident in Hall 20(Box), says “...My Dickens is an awesome guy. He makes me scream the whole two-halves of an hour. Then all of a sudden my cunt convulses as an involuntary orgasm turns my entire body into one gigantic zone! Then he cums in me, Ouch!”

This type of man has the decorum, selflessness and psychological commitment to see his woman through. He is a man who believes that it is his duty to give pleasure in order to gain pleasure. Like I said, it is not how fit or toned you are.

Normal Man Run the Show this Loooong

Most women interviewed, dismissed the issue of size of penis and underscored quality ramming of the walls as long time enough. The men on the other side, dismissed the issue of how tight the labia majora and minora are as long as the face is uniquely beautiful.

It’s pretty obvious that a normal below average man is supposed to run the show for a satisfactory length of at least 9.6 minutes when we are talking about deep impaling; foreplay excluded. Yet veterans can brag of more than 28 minutes non-stop of thunderous good strokes in and good strokes out for the first round. Can you handle this? Cosmo, a resident in Hall 11, says “When I go longer than 5 minutes I risk the likelihood of a CD bursting at any point after. And you know how difficult it is to stop at such climaxes... (Giggles)”

We are living in a society whose men are so over-optimistic such that they always see Glass (read Gals) as half-naked and not half-dressed at all times, prompting their minds to fuck in almost every position imaginable by just sight. This condition is further aggravated by the likes of Luthuli/SJ instant-call-gals who at all times stress that speed is of essence.

Men come too fast for a variety of reasons, not least among them the reason that they are in an impatient, selfish search for gratification. Women, on the other hand, come too slowly because their mind are preoccupied by a variety of expectations, not the least being their strong wish to be entertained statutory from one direction, and some gift ready. The fact of a woman helping you entertain her is a statement of the utmost importance. Worse is a certain crop of women who misconceive that passionate, toe-curling sex is one dimensional. One-dimensional in the sense that it is up to the man to bring out pleasure on both parties. This is not only wrong but also a misguided brainwash across the churches (yes churches) that denies full enjoyment of one’s body. “Sometimes my galfriend takes the lead, and become a young brunette riding a pole and swearing like a drunken sailor. OMG! She does it like a real woman cooking breakfast. That makes me go hard on and on...” says Bob, resident in Hall 9.

Have you tasted cunningulus? I ask. No, most probably. Tell me the last time your woman fellated your tools and I’ll tell you a generation abnegating the necessary. Probably, she has never brought her lips closer to your cock. Where else can you get a stimulus and drive from?

National Census Rendition

From an evolutionary point of view, the male who come too fast, stand a more chance of impregnating their partners. The scientific exposition behind this theory asserts that the first cum if not disturbed sticks more to the walls of the uterus agitating the release of Luteinizing Hormone (LH) which is responsible for express ovulation. It is the same impregnated women who stand on the receiving end of unsatisfaction. So when the census release claimed there are more Kikuyus and Luhyas, I couldn’t stop wondering how short, dorks, malfunctioned and wimps are the Kikuyu men, Luhya men and Kalenjin men in that ugly order.

ALPHONCE M. MAGATI

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Where the Brain and Heart Goes While you Last Part II